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May all your chooks turn into emus and kick over your dunny!

My favorite Australian colloquial curse. Chook= domestic chicken; emu= (ee-myu) large scruffy flightless bird about the size and shape of an ostrich; dunny= small outhouse enclosing a pit toilet.
So pehaps best rendered into American something like: 'May all your chickens turn into dinosaurs and they destroy your life essentials!'